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From the Hideout – Finally, a formula that calculates the Cuteness of your Dog!

26 Apr

 “Chapter 2: Cubby” is coming up tomorrow.

Today, I intend to share this awesome formula with you. I’ve been working on this since last evening. If you’ve read this, you know that down here, I am forced to find innovative ways to keep myself occupied. One would expect my temporary subterranean abode to at least tempt the mice, but they too have kept away. I think that the canine smell on my clothes must have worked as some kind of vermin-repellent.

Without meandering any more, let me come to the crux of the canine-cuteness matter.

Here’s the formula.

Cc = (The sum of the values of the positive traits of your dog)/(The sum of the values of the negative traits of your dog)
If a trait exists in your dog, provide a value of 1. If it doesn’t, provide a value of 0.

Here’s the list of the five positive traits that make up the numerator.

  1. Innocence
  2. Playfulness
  3. Loyalty
  4. Love
  5. A round knobby nose

And the five negative traits that add up to form the denominator are as follows.

  1. Evil
  2. Revengefulness
  3. Hatred
  4. Duplicity
  5. A devilishly pointy, trifurcated tail

Sample Solution:
Here’s how I worked out the Cute-ness of my dog to be “infinity.”

How to calculate the cuteness of your dog - the secret formula - bobby elhans

If you have a canine family member, use this formula and see if you arrive at a different result. If your answer is different from mine, I recommend you check whether your dog is actually an illegal immigrant from the feline world and has been living with you under an assumed canine identity.

 

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2 Comments

Posted by on April 26, 2014 in At the Hideout, Pet Humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “From the Hideout – Finally, a formula that calculates the Cuteness of your Dog!

  1. mavimet

    April 27, 2014 at 2:21 am

    I like this. Chester gets Infinity too! 🙂

    Like

     
    • bobbyelhans

      April 27, 2014 at 2:25 am

      I am sure he does. The formula works for all real dogs. In fact, it could be instrumental in helping us detect impostors.

      Like

       

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